Ahmad Razlah Ahmat

Recently, while I was enjoying myself watching HBO in KCH Hilton, the room phone rings. A guy on the other line, introduce himself as Capt Bagio (bukan nama sebenar), requesting if he could come over to me room for a chat. I asked myself, who the hell is this guy? But, I said ok. A few minutes later, the door bell sounds and Capt Bagio arrived, entered my room and we sat on the sofa. I made tea.

He introduce himself to me. He’s been with Mas for 12 years now. As a commander in B737 fleet for about 2 years. Used to be married. Wife died of cancer 3 years ago. But, the company did know that he was married because he got married at the border. Now he is thinking to be married again. But, he is now not sure, scared and many negative things is playing in his mind. He wants to know how do you know that this women is the perfect wife for you?

My advise was……

You will never know if the women that you are deeply in love with would be the perfect one for you untill you are married to her. Firstly, you have to write down a very practical list, what kind of women or wife you are looking for. That list will only be applicable to yourself only. The list should be to fit your requirement in life, financially, family relationship, community, health, religion and career.

Life

If you think that your life style is the kind of style that you wanna share with someone else, make sure she has the same life style with you or like your lifestyle or willing to change to fit your lifestyle. This applies vice versa. Preferably, you like 70% of what she likes and she she like 70% of what you like. Never go below than 70%. In another words both of you have 70% things in common.

Financially

Make sure that you, as the man of the house, preferably to be the bread winner. It may not necessary that the women need not be working. It will be a bonus if sharing of wealth is an agenda of your marriage. But, as a man, your money is her money as well, but, her money is her money. Remember you cannot live with ‘love and sunshine’ only.

Family Relationship.

During corting, everything is nice and dandy. Families involvement is very minimum. Make sure consent from family is granted. Remember, we can’t live without our families. (Father, mother, siblings and relatives).

Job.

Make sure that your spouse marry your job first.

Childrens.

Try your very best to find out if both of you can make healthy baby/ies. Even if both of you can make babies, with present modern technology, try to find out if both of you are compatible to make babies. (Optional)

Times With Family.

Quality time is better than quantity time. Make sure you find time for your love ones.

Finally.

Guys, your wife is not yours to keep but its a thrust to you from God. If you have a religion and you love your God than you would what to do with your wife.

Gals, you have been thrusted to your husband by your God. If he loves his God he will take care of you. But, you as a wife must play your role in making that marriage last.

All the best Captain Bagio (bukan nama sebenar)